day dreams
you can’t catch me lorax! ten years later: never mind about that comment I live in a shoe with no company. If your life sucks try that!
A 1942 photo of Hans Scholl, Sophie Scholl and Christoph Probst - members of the student resistance group, “White Rose”. The group distributed pamphlets across Germany appealing to the public’s sense of moral duty, calling for resistance to the Nazi dictatorship, and demanding an end to the war.
Sophie would be caught and reported to the Gestapo on the 18th of February, 1943 at Ludwig Maximilians University. All three would then be sentenced 5 days later and beheaded.
George Witt
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A Child’s Book Report on the Entire Bible Read more: http://www.beliefnet.com/Entertainment/Joke-of-the-Day/Daily-Joke.aspx#ixzz1sPCvHHll
In the beginning, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, ‘The Lord thy God is one,’ but I think he must be a lot older than that. Anyway, God said, ‘Give me a light!’ and someone did. Then God made the world.
He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren’t embarrassed because mirrors hadn’t been invented yet. Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden. Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn’t have cars.
Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel. Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something.
One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would take a rain check.
After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.
Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh’s people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable. God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti.
Then he gave them His Top Ten Commandments. These include don’t lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor’s stuff. Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother.
One of Moses’ best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town.
After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn’t sound very wise to me.
After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed upon the shore. There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don’t have to worry about them.
After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of the New Testament. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. I wish I had been born in a barn, too, because my mom is always saying to me, “Close the door! Were you born in a barn?” It would be nice to say yes.
During his life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Democrats. Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.
Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount. But the Democrats and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn’t stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.
Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again. He went up to Heaven, but he will be back at the end of the Aluminum.
His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.
Read more: http://www.beliefnet.com/Entertainment/Joke-of-the-Day/Daily-Joke.aspx#ixzz1sPD3Bbin
-Sophy Burnham”
Sucks.
We’ve learned that 32-year-old Queen Mary II of England, Scotland and Ireland has died from smallpox. In order to prevent the spread of infection, she refused to see anyone who had not previously had the disease, including her own sister. She passed away just after midnight on…
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Bored? Sit there for an hour or two and think about what you could be doing. It’s is ten times worse but also helps you contemplate other things and be good with patience. So you can get out there or benefit yourself with knowledge. YOUR CHOICE.
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